||my perfectly IMPERFECT love||

Nobody is born perfect..
If everybody is born perfect..
we'll be longing for someone who is
IMPERFECT..
why...? simple..
because we are human...

why cant when we say I LOVE YOU..
we really mean it..
arent it is suppose to be..
when we committed ourselves to love someone..
we have to accept that someone..
thru their sick and health..
thru their thick and thin..
thru their ups and downs..

why ruin someone else's life
by saying I LOVE YOU..
but i dont love you anymore..
or i dont love you like before...
it hurts too much to hear that..
and it hurts even more to live with it..

i just dont get it when they say..
I LOVE YOU too much that..
i have to let you go..
then..
why bother saying i love you..

or maybe I LOVE YOU so much..
but i've done things that i'm not proud of..
so i cant be with you..

living in a world where we
forgive and forget..
all these I LOVE YOU..buts...
should not come into our life...
we made it happen...
we are the one who done things..
and we are the one who tends to
NOT TO forget it..moreover forgive it..
why sacrifice on things that does not
demands for sacrifice??
it is silly right??

i'm happy with my life..
a husband who is not perfect..
but he makes my day everyday..
two angels who are also not perfect..
but they make me smile just by seeing they smile
a parents who are not perfect..
but the best parents who raised me up
to become who I am today..
a big brother who is not perfect..
but is always behind me when i need a support..
a sister who is not perfect..
but is the shoulder for me to lean on whenever i need one..
a lil brother who is not perfect..
but sometime could lend me a big help when I needed..

who say i need someone perfect..??
i dont demand perfection...
i dont need perfection...
and I dont see why others need to..

you dont have to be perfect
because you wont be one..
live the life you have with those
imperfect people..
because by the end of the day..
you should see that they doesnt have
to be perfect to make your day..

but..bear in mind...
not everything happens..
the way we want it to happen..
dont put high expectations..
especially towards the person you
want to spend your life with..
cause if it turns the other way around..
you'll find it easy to blame that person..
or yourself..
or you'll find yourself failed to be the person
they want you to be..
or you yourself want to be

to those who blurted I LOVE YOU to someone..
if you dont mean it...
dont ever say it..
what goes around..comes around..
say it ONLY when you mean it..

I LOVE YOU AHMAD DARUL ANUAR..
you are my perfectly IMPERFECT love....

Mengapa WANITA sangat Istimewa......

another good stoRy to pass aROund...
and to aLL wOmen..WE ARE SPECIAL...so don't waste it :D


Mama dan Papa sedang menonton TV,
seraya mama berkata. "..i letih la..dah
lewat ni, i nak tido lah...."
Mama pun pegi dapur nak tutup tingkap dapur,
nanti masuk pulak lipas..
.leceh pulak nanti..dah tu, ade pulak rice cooker dalam sink..
rendam lepas makan tadi..basuh jap...
susun pinggan kat rak, lap dapur..
terpercik kena sambal masa masak
tadi...check air panas dalam flusk..
takut habis pulak nanti malam anak nak susu...
memang dah kering pun flusk ni, jerang la air...
sementara tunggu air masak, nampak pulak bekas gula dah kosong....
salin la gula...check bubur untuk anak nak hantar ke taska esok..
nasib baik ade lagi...ishh. ..ni lauk bila ni, semalam...dah beku dah...
basuh la kejap....pegi yard, masukkan baju kotor dalam mesin basuh...
penat dah ni, besok je la basuh...sidai kain lap je lah...
tik...bunyi air dah masak...salin air dalam flusk...ok settle...

baru teringat tak semayang lagi...on da way nak g bilik,
papa tgk tv lagi...nampak pulak beg anak untuk hantar ke taska...
check. ..baju 2 pasang, towel...towel kecik utk selsama...
calamine lotion untuk sapu ruam...pampers 4 keping....
alamak. .telupa pulak masukkan botol...basuh
botol jap...ok settle...

ternampak pulak beg g keje...
emm.. besok nak pakai beg polo coklat lah,
asik2 pakai beg hitam ni je...
salin jap barang2 g beg coklat...
cek sume 6 poket beg, takut la tetinggal apa2..leceh pulak..
selalunya barang yang tertinggal tu la yang nak pakai nanti...
hishhh sempit la beg ni...hangin je...nak kena beli ni beg baru...
rasenya 25 hb ni Sogo sale nih...mana flyers tadi ek...
ha ni die..ok, catit jap kat yellow sticker, nanti lupa..ok settle...

Tetiba dengar suara papa...
"..u buat apa lagi tu..tadi kata nak tido.."...." ..
yelah nak tido la ni..nak smayang jap..."

masuk toilet..buat apa2 yang patut...
cuci muka dulu..2 jenis lak tu...adoi..
gosok gigi...smayang. ..pakai toner...pakai treatment cream...
nak lawa and maintain punya pasal lah ni...
nanti orang kata baru anak satu dah macam anak 4 pulak...huhuhuhu. ..

bukak almari...emmm. ..pakai baju hijau ni lah besok...
gosok kejap..check baju papa, baju papa pun kena gosok jugak ni...
kat bilik belakang...la, napa komputer ni tak tutup ni..
gelas kopi pun ade lagi, dah bersemut dah..ishhh ...
g dapur, basuh, sambung gosok baju...gantung elok2...
kemaskan baju gantung2...masukkan seluar papa yang dah kotor dalam tempat kotor...
ok settle..

dgr suara papa lagi...
"..i dah ngantuk ni.."..
dalam pada nak masuk ke bilik...
owh. ..pokok aku dah nak mati ni ha..
lupa dah 3 hari tak siram...ok, siram jap...
check jap pintu ni...sah tak kunci lagi...grill pun tak tutup..
ni kalau tak check ni, senang2 je mat indon masuk rompak umah aku...
bukak lampu luar..

ni mainan ni sepah2...
masukkan la dalam bakul mainan budak ni...
banyaknya...sampai bawah meja makan pun ade...adoi.. ..
ok dah ...

ok dah boleh baring...adoi sakitnya pinggang...
cium si comel ni kejap...selimutkan die...
la..napa basah ni...emm, tukar la pempers ni...
tak bagus la brand ni, nanti nak tukar lain la...
nanti g Sogo 25 hb ni beli la skali...ok sayang tido k...
kalau boleh jangan la bangun tgh malam ni
eh..tido sampai pagi k...gud nite..sweet dreams...

aaahh...sedapnya dapat baring...mana pulak lotion sapu kurus aku nih...
ha, ni dia...sambil sapu lotion kurus..
setkan alarm...setkan program kerja besok...
pg kul 9.30 ade meeting.. ahh...boring. ..
panas pulak lotion nih..dah la...emm..sedapnya lelapkan mata...

Ya Allah...terima kasih untuk rezekiMU hari ini,. ..
mohon keberkatan dari mu tuhan...

papa pun bangun tutup tv...
"...i dah ngantuk sangat ni...nak tido lah...
citer pun tak best malam ni, bola pun takde..."...
selang seminit...dengar suara papa berkeruh...
dah agak dah....

So?....apa yang peliknya..??

Anda tahu kenapa wanita hidup lebih lama?...
SEBAB ADE BANYAK KERJA NAK KENA BUAT....
tu yang tak boleh nak mati cepat tu...

Tak kira la wanita berkerjaya atau surirumah...

setiap wanita adalah istimewa dengan cara mereka sendiri...

well it's been months since my last update..
i dont know why but i'm having trouble sleeping recently..
i'm tired..really tired..
but i have all my life around me..
oldskool+arman and aiReLL..
i could stay awake just to watch them sleeping..

recent news..
me + oldskool have a shop now..
"oldskOOL akustaiL"..
a dream oldskool had been dreaming
for us to make it happened..
alhamdullillah..it came true..

and we have a new family members..
AHMAD AIRELL AMZAR...
welcome to the world sayang..

i dont quite really have any idea what to
write actually..
but my hands just couldnt stop pressing these keyboards ;p
listening to this Ne-Yo song...
it really reminded me of
our forbidden love..
haha..walking down the memory lane again... ;D

being me..it is easier to express anything by writing...
but in this case..it's typing...

well here goes..my heart felt uneasy..
i have no idea why...
some things happen to us recently..
but we managed to go thru it...
but still..i pray and pray that Allah
will not test us with anything that we couldn't bear
to go thru..

so many thing happened in 2009...
made me realized..time flies so fast...
and i'm wondering...how am i doing??

am i being...
a good mommy to both my angels??
a good wife to my dear hubby??
a good daughter to my dear parents??
a good sister to my dear siblings??
a good friend to my dear friends??

i prayed i did good..
and hopefully it'll last forever...

and to my dear hubby..
another year to add on our married years...
thank you for being you...
for still being you..
thank you for the love
thank you for the laughters
thank you for the feeling
of missing you tho it's just for a few hours...
it shows that i'm falling in love with you
again n again everytime...

and like the lyrics says
you are my love...MY PERFECT DISTRACTIONS



||i Love you aHmad daRul anuaR+ahMad aRman ashRaf+ahMad aiReLL aMzaR||


||Never Knew I Needed||

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took the idea that i have
Of everything that i wanted to have
And made me see there was something missing

For the ending of my first begin
And for the rare and unexpected friend
For the way you're something that i never choose
But at the same time something i don't wanna lose
And never wanna be without ever again

You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So when you were here i had no idea
You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So now it's so clear i need you here always

My accidental happily ever after
The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter
I must admit you were not a part of my book
But now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So when you were here i had no idea
You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So now it's so clear i need you here always

Who'd knew that i'd be here
So unexpectedly
Undeniably happy
Said with you right here, right here next to me
Baby you're the...

You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So when you were here i had no idea
You're the best thing i never knew i needed
So now it's so clear i need you here always
Baby baby
Now it's so clear i need you here always

tag + Award ;p

tagged by iKabash =)

thanx fOr the tag+award ;)

here's 10 things about me.

1- i'm 8 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby

2-am having a teRRible time cOping with these morning sicknesses...

3-i miss my little aRman teRRibly when i'm in the office ;p

4-i'm sleepy but i can't sleep because i feel like vomiting..;(

5-i love Doctor Martins tOO much...

6-i like snapping pictuRes of oldskool n arman...

7-i missed my study years & friends..

8-i'm a list freak...

(every end of the month i'll come out with a list-to-do,list-to-buy...)

9-i'm planning to buy a cOnverse snickers for myself without olskool knowing..hahaha....

10-i do think my mR.oldskool is chOMel..hik..hik...

** 10 taggies

-as i dont have many blog frens..

i'm tagging you guys who have been reading mine...

haha...

GOTCHA!!

:: a stORy wOrth reaDing ::

it's mother's day..(10th May 2009)

and it's my 2nd year celebRating it...

BeiNg a mOther.. ;p

i received an email few days before

MOTHER's DAY...

which I attached below..

and it tRiggeRed..

how i've been so selfish nowadays..

because I only utter the words

I LOVE YOU ibu..

only when there are occassions..

i'm sorry ibu..

i really love you..

thank you for the greatest upbringing

you've given me

since I was born until now..

there's nothing that I can do

to repay you...

and if i've hurt you..

please forgive me..

cause it was never my intention...

I LOVE YOU..till the end ;p

*********************************

to the persON whO shaRed this stORy,

thaNk yOu..it reaLLy tOuched my heaRt ;p

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After 21 years of marriage,

my wife wanted me to take

another woman out to dinner and a movie.

She said, 'I love you,but

I know this other woman loves you

and would Love to spendsome time with you.

The other woman that my wife

wanted me to visit was my Mother,

who has been a widow for 19 years,

but the demands of my work and

my three children had made it possible

to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her

to go out for dinnerand a movie.

'What's wrong,are you well,' she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects

that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,'

I responded 'just the two of us.

'She thought about it for a moment, and

then said, 'I would like that verymuch'

That Friday after work,

as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous..

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that

she, too,seemed to be nervous about our date.

She waited in the door with her coat on.

She had curled her hair and was wearing

the dress that she had worn to celebrate her

last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son,

and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into the car.

'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant,

was very nice and cozy.

My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu.

Her eyes could only read large print.

Half-way through the entrees,I lifted my eyes and saw

Mother sitting there staring at me.

A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu

when you weresmall,' she said.

'Then it's time that you relax and

let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner , we had an agreeable

conversation nothing extraordinary but

catching up on recent events of each other's life.

We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said,

'I'll go out with you again, but only ifyou let me invite you.'

I agreed.'How was your dinner date?'

asked my wife when I got home.

'Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of

a massive heart attack.

It happened so suddenly that

I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Sometime later, I received an envelope

with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place

Mother and I had dined.

An attached note said:

'I paid this bill in advance.

I wasn't sure that I could be there;

but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates,

one for you and the other for your wife.

You will never know what that night meant for me.

'I love you, son'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time:

'I loveYOU'and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than your family.

Give them the time they deserve,

because these things cannot be put off till some 'other' time.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks

to get back to normal after you've had a baby...

somebody

doesn't know that once you're amother,

'normal' is history.

Somebody said you can't love the second child

as much as you love the first...

somebody

doesn't have two or more children.

Somebody said the hardest part of

being a mother is labor and delivery....

somebody

never watched her 'baby'get on the bus

for the first day of kindergarten...

or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.

Somebody said a Mother can stop worrying

after her child gets married...

somebody

doesn't know that marriage adds

a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done

when her last child leaves home...

somebody

never had grandchildren..

Somebodysaid your mother knows you love her,

so you don't need to tell her...

somebody

isn't a mother.

:: he..whO meLts my heaRt :D ::

6th of maRch 2009

huBBy maDe a reseRvatiOn at the Ritz caRLtOn KL.
haD my reLaxeD saUna bath and
heaDed to bintaNg waLk fOr jaLan2.. ;D
but we heaDed back to the hOtel
right afteR diNner beCause aRman is aLready sLeeping..
althOugh i was veRy tiRed..
i'm gLad ALLAH gaVe us the
oPportuNity to cheRish Our life tOgetheR...




but.............................................
I was sad tO leaRn huBBy maDe a
sPa reseRvatiOn and lUnch fOr me..
whiCH i did nOt aTteNd to..
becaUse i was in the offiCe..
WORKING...sheeessshhhHhh ;(

7th of maRch 2009

we haD our bReakfast cOmplimEnts fRom the hotel..
aND weNt fOr aNother sauna treatmeNt...
and at aBout 12 we cheCked out frOm the Hotel..
aNd head bacK to aMpaNg.. :(

but the jOuRney did nOt eNd theRe..
we weNt to naD's cRiB..
aNd then we fOund ouRseLves tOgether
with naD, aLong & idLan on the highway
to Morib..hehe....
reaChed theRe at aBout 1830hours..

we weNt stRaight tO the beacH and

sOaKed idLan & aRman..with seLut..hahaha...
sOon after the maghRib azan was recited..
aNd we heaDed to the mOrib mOsque..
perfOrm our pRayers and wenT fOr diNNer..
we checKed in intO a nIce & cheap rOOm
at the viLLa mOrib..RM75 per rOom...
N.E.A.T...and N.I.C.E...

8th MaRch 2009

we staRted packiNg our baGs,
cHecked out from the rOOm aNd weNt for
branch (bReakfast+Lunch)
**well its a vacation..nO need to get up eaRLy :) **
we snaPped sOme pictuRes of us
at the beaCh anD aRound the pLaygROund..
then afteR perfOrming ouR zUhuR..
we heaDed baCk to kLang..
but nad ,aLong aNd iDlan went baCk to PJ insteaD..

9th maRch 2009

ouR episOdes of vaCatioNing dOes nOt eNd
in klang as well.... :)
we went to the sUnway pyRamid
hunting fOr aRman's sHoes..
but we didnt maNage to fiNd oNe..
hahaha...mOmmy aNd DaDDy suRe are
veRy2 paRticuLar n picKy.. :p
haD our diNner aNd head baCk..
which tis time it's fOr reaL..
baCk to AmpaNg...:(

Our hOliday eNded tOday..
but my LOve tOwaRds yOu wiLL nOt...

I LOVE YOU..
for planning these..
fOr haVing the time to paMper us...
fOr beinG rOmanTic oNce in bLue mOon..
caUse eveRytime yOu aRe in a rOmantic Mood..
i'm suRe gOnna LOVE everything that yOu maDe and do...
i LOVE you and eveRything aBout yOU...



i LOVE you...i LOVE you...and i LOVE you...
yOu do meLt my heaRt...
oVer n oVer again...
yOU...AHMAD DARUL ANUAR ;p

::LOVE stORy::

haaaaa................................................................................
this sOng (LOVE STORY) reaLLy meLts my heaRt..

suddenly it all came back..
how we struggled our way to come to this point...
when they would put up any words
just to see us apart...

you proved to me
i can't achieve anything if i don't struggle hard enough..
and as much as I longed for you to be besides me...
tho we are apart...
I still believe our love is strong enough...
to help us go thru the ups and downs in life...

you helped me..
you believed in me...
you made me see the real me thru you..
you made everything easier for me tho i dont usually admit it... ;p

you are ;
my saviour...my life
my partner in crime...my namesake..
my better half...my soulmate..

if only i could tell those who doesnt believe in love...
it doesnt work out fine everytime...
LOVE is something that we have to cherish..
from both side...
LOVE is something that we have to protect
so that neither one of you
have to be alone and sad....
LOVE is a blessing and
it is too beautiful to be described...
LOVE needed sacrifice just to see
the person that we love have the best in life...

tell the person you love that you LOVE them...
everyday...everynite...eve

ry second...
because you never know..
when they'll leave us...

i do believe...they'll do the same to you...

AND...back to my LOVE story... ;p

the best part is..
no matter near or far apart..
the love we share together..
always keep me close to your heart...
and keep you close to mine.... :p

love you AHMAD DARUL ANUAR....i always do...

LOVE STORY
---------------
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air

See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

::taNpa::

of aLL the days oLdskOoL was away..

tOday reaLLy2 aChed me...

why??..

i dOnt knOw..

i tRied tO be stRong..

bUt i'm nOt that stRong..

i tRied to be haPPy..

but i knOw i'm faKing it..

i've been cOunting eNdLess secOnds, miNutes, hOurs..

sO that i cOuLd see hiM in fRont of me..

agaiN I just caNt stOp thiNking of hiM

..sigh...

missiNg him is reaLLy2 achIng me..

theRe is nOt a siNgle secOnd that i fOrget bOut him..

i mIss his smiLe..

i mIss his jOkes..

i mIss his tOuch..

i mIss eveRythIng abOut him..

its tRue what peOPle says..

we dOnt reaLLy cherish

what we aLways have in fRont of us..

but when suDDenLy it is nOt in fRont of us..

then we'LL staRt lOnging fOr that feeLing again..

tHinKing of it...

it oCcuReD tO me..

tRue Love dOes eXist...

may what me & him have right nOw..

wiLL last foRever..

thaNk yOu sayang fOr the Love yOu have fOr me..

thaNk yOU for haVing me in yOUr Life..

tHank yOu foR eveRy singLe tHiNg that yOu do

may it sOmething that i reaLize or nOt..

thaNk yOU fOr maKing me sMiLE eaCh tiMe..

thaNk yOU fOr aLways beiNg the One whO listens

tO my "cRaps of life"

thaNk yOu fOr shaRing the best of liFe ALLAH had cReated fOr us..

it'll be a "lOng eNdLess thAnk yOU" list if

I weRe to wRite it dOwn..

&

i knOw yOu aRe nOt gOing tO reaD this

unLess i shOw it tO yOu..

whIch i'm nOt gOing tO.. :D

its just sOmethiNg that i feeL like wRiting aBout..

bUt on tOp of eveRythIng..

thanK yOU ALLAH fOr the gReatest destiNy yOu wrOte

fOr me..

fOr us...

i LOVE you AHMAD DARUL ANUAR..always & forever :)

a sOng which reMinded me if... I dOnt have yOu

TANPA-6ixth sense

Resah yang ku ubah dalam kata
Melukiskan kesunyian
Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti

Tanpa... Cintamu aku resah

Tanpa... Kasihmu aku hampa

Tanpa... Dirimu aku mati

Kini benar-benarku rasakan

Dalam relung hatiku tanpamu

Aku tak mengerti

Takut aku jauh dari dirimu

Dan kau tinggalkan aku sendiri

Tanpamu ku mati

Resah yang ku

Ubah dalam kata

Melukiskan kesunyian

Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti

daMaiLah kaU di saNa haFiz..aL-fatiHah...

yesterday, 31st January 2009 my nephew, Hafizudin passed away.
Ibu got a call at about 1600++ hours from
Kak Lin informing us on the news.
We quickly rushed to Gleneagles to pay our last respect to our dear haFiz...

what saDDened me was...
ibu was planning to visit Hafiz on that very day..
earlier that day I mean..
Ibu asked me to buy "yong tau fOo" to bring to the hospital.
I regretted that we didnt reach there earlier...

how I wish i could see him before he go..
i wish he could have play with Arman again..
I wish he could have some of the Yong Tau Foo that I bought for him..
i wish....

When we reach there, we saw abang Fifi was crying besides arwah because
he wasnt there when arwah passed away..
no one was there except Kak Lin...
things must have been hard for Kak Lin rite now..
Hafiz was the only son in the family..
and her four sisters is missing him every seconds they breath..
all of us misses him....all of us...

you guys must be wondering what arwah was suffering from right??
Well please do read this..
this was taken from arwah's closest cousin's blog...
credits to Ika & Ira...thanx dear

this cute boy name muhammad hafizudin bin m. hafifi.
Hafiz, for short. he's sick. really sick.
he does not have left lung, both of his lung on the right. how's that? i dont know.
keadaan hafiz memang kritikal.
jantung hafiz dah tak sihat lagi.
injap jantung dia dah mula bocor.
disebabkan itu, jantung dia terpaksa bekerja kuat untuk mengepam darah.
ibu bagitahu saiz jantung dia dh expand 3times dr normal size dia.
heartbeat anak kecil 7thn ni dalam keadaan rehat
adalah sama dengan orang normal ketika berlari.
bayangkan pula jika anak kecil ini mula bermain dan berlari.
bayangkan heartbeatnya ketika itu.
doktor sudah mengesahkan tiada apa yang dapat dilakukan lagi.
mak ngah dan pak ngah dah nekad tak nak undergo surgery, sebab kalau dilakukan pun,
hafiz akan berada di bawah intensive care.
tak adil untuk kanak-kanak sepertinya untuk terbaring di
atas katil instead bermain bersama-sama kanak-kanak sebayanya.
all we can do now is wait. and pray.

The doctor said it had nothing to do with his heart whatsoever..
it was because HE WAS VERY TIRED...
but to me...
Allah lebih menyayangi die..."KUN FAYAKUN"
its better to think that way...

When I kissed him for the last time...
he looked like he was sleeping peacefully...
and it had been two days since
that I couldnt sleep remembering that he had slept forever...

I was not that close to arwah....
but it came to mind suddenly what if
its Arman...
I couldnt stop thinkng about that..

Would I have the strength of Kak Lin
who went through all the sickness until arwah's last breath..
Would I have the courage of arwah's sisters to
always be besides him until the end..
Would I be ready to let arwah go..
the same way arwahs' family did..

Thinking of it...
i regretted for not being close to arwah..
being a mother now..
proves to me that you'll do whatever you could
to protect the love of your life..
you'll love everyone arounds you even if
that someone hurt you again n again...
you'll pray constantly to Allah
to give you the chances to love them whole heartedly...

in short..being a mother made me realized..
there's no limitation to love...
cherish those you love every seconds you have..
cause you'll never know when
they'll leave you...or
when you'll leave them

that's why i decided to blog this...
to my suprise I dont even have any ideas before this
on what should i put up on my blog...

Ya Allah..berilah keluarga arwah di ketika ini dan
hari2 yg akan datang kekuatan untuk melalui ujian Mu..
berilah mereka ketenangan untuk menerima
Qada' & Qadar ketentuan Mu Ya Allah...

At least we know arwah's sickness and misery had ended...
at least we were given opportunities to cherish
and loved arwah for the rest of his life..
Allah has better plan for him...
he left us all with unforgettable memories...

pergilah sayang...damailah engkau di sana...

smoga roh-nya dicucuri rahmat
dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg soleh...AMIN

bOetaRgue's depaRtuRe for petRonas aDveNtuRe teaM 230608

yesteRday 23rd June 2008, we weNt to the aiRpOrt to see aBang's depaRtuRe for the petRonas aDventuRe team...weNt theRe with aYah's caR...me,aRman,HuBBy,aYah,kaMaL,jeO n tiKa...

we stOpped @ masJid sePaNg for maghRib pRayeRs and heaDed to the aiRpOrt afteRwaRds...

we reaChed KLIA, cOupLes of miNutes befOre 8p.m.

Me n KaMaL aCCoMpaNieD aBang fOr LuggaGe cHeck in..

whiLe ayaH n hUbBy weNt to PaRk...

sOOn afteR we gatheR at c17 for aBaNg's bRiefiNg

then its diNNer tiMe...my stOmaCh was aLreaDy siNging with muSiC fROm "i duNno wheRe" :D.

we weNt dOwn to the KLIA's fOOd gaRden n i gOt myseLf a naSi+teLuR bUngKus...nOt that yUmmMMmmmYyyyYy... :(

afteR diNNer we weNt up agaiN..aNd daDDY was sNappiNg piCtuRes like cRazy..at aBout 10p.m sumthing we Had to get baCk as aRman was aLreaDy beCame restLess...so we saiD oUr gOodbYes n weNt baCk...tO my supRise I didn't cry...Like i did last tiMe...wakakaka...mOst pRobabLy i was pRegNant last time...

on oUr way tO the caR...we aCCidentLy met juLie n her fRieNd...(can't reCall his naMe thOugh)...sO we taLKed a whiLe n lateR fOund out that we aRe aLL at the wRong siDe of parKing aRea....ekekekekeke...sO we haD to waLk baCk to the saMe diRectiOn to go to the paRkiNg aREa..

weLL whateVer......dO hoPe aBang wiLL haVE a gReat aNd saFe aDventuRe....

we'LL miss ya uNcLe bOtaK!!!!!

my sOuL..my lOve...my ReasOn foR eveRytHing.. :D

i met my huBby eNd of 2004 wheN i was stiLL in my degRee yeaR, fiNaL seMesteR..we Met in a pLaCe wheRe most of oUr fRieNds met theiR paRtner in Life tOo...

uptOwn daMansaRa.

afteR a yeaR of laugHteR,jOys n etC we deCideD to be witH eaCh otheR "tiLL death dO us paRt". sO weDDiNg pLans weRe maDe, eveRytHing weRe beinG pRepaRed, we saiD "i dO" tO eaCh otheR on the 21st of maRCh 2007, @ masjiD nuRuL hiDayaH, Kg.paNdaN..

21st maRch,2007

aNd ouR weDDiNg reCeptiOn was heLd on the 24th MaRch,2007 @ deWan CeMpaka..aMpaNg seLangOr..... :D

deWan CempaKa..

3 mOnths lateR oN my sisteR's weDDiNg daY...i fOund Out tHat i'm 5 weeKs pRegNant.. How i feLt that tiMe..oNLy goD kNows hOw...sCaRed, deLightfuL, enthusiAst..bLa..bLa..bLa...my mOrNing siCkness was nOt tHat bad thOugh eveRytHiNg I ate will cOme out as sOon as i fiNished my meaLs eveRyday..but stiLL i'LL eat..eat n eat...waKakakak...bUt the best paRt was...hOw my huBby tReated me..aLmOst eveRytHing i cRaved fOr he'LL fiNd or buy foR me..OooOo...hOw I miss tHat tiMe... :D...aNd my sis was aLso pRegNant but i'm 1 mOnth aheaD of beiNg pRegnaNt:P

me n my sis....beiNg pRegNant

aNd on the 10th feBRuaRy, 2008..OuR buNdLe of jOy aRRiVed intO the woRLd, aHmaD aRman asHRaf..weiGht 2.6kg @ hOspital aMpaNg..0921am..

ahmaD aRman ashRaf..oUr litLLe bUndLe of jOy :D

nOw aRman is aLreaDy 4 mOnths oLd..tOO Lazy to wRite abOut ouR famiLy mOmentOs...sO i deCided to bLog..weLL we'll see hOw updateD my bLog will be huh???ekekekeke.....

tiLL my next pOsting...see yaaaa......